Facial symmetry, high cheekbones, luscious eyes, heavenly bosoms and child bearing hips aka (a smokin’ round booty) are some of the physical features that have been attributed to attractive women. However, sometimes our judgement has been proven wrong. We’ve compiled a list of the alternatives to the cookie cutter sexy lists of yesteryear…
10. Liza Tarbuck
Actress and presenter Liza can’t really be described as a conventional stunner, but on close inspection she bears a disconcerting resemblance to her comedian father Jimmy Tarbuck. Luckily, she’s also inherited his sense of humour and has a twinkle in her eye that any bloke would find hard to resist.
9. Tracey Emin
It’s fair to say that artist Tracey isn’t as pretty as a picture. Intelligent, open and articulated, she first found fame with her piece Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963 – 1995 and for swearing on a live Channel 4 programme. She’s pulled off the trick of becoming more attractive as she gets older.
8. Sandra Bernhard
What the comedienne, actress and singer lacks in looks she makes up for in attitude. She’s not afraid to court controversy – she allegedly warned Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin that she would be attacked by her ‘brothers’ if she visited New York. Check out her turn in ‘The King Of comedy’, which more than guarantees her a place in this list.
7. Steffi Graf
Some studies have declared that small eyes, a big nose and a strong jaw are considered desirable features… in a bloke. Unfortunately for the former World No. 1 tennis player, the same can’t be said for women. Away from the court, however, she manages to scrub up well – she did manage to bag Andre Agassi, after all.
6. Charlie Dimmock
Best known for two things – presenting Ground Force and her gardening column in the Mail on Sunday (what did you think we were going to say?). Charlie won an army of male admirers by going bra-less in a t-shirt in all weathers. She’s got her knockers, but most blokes agree it was a good thing.
5. Zoe Ball
Radio Presenter and wife of Fatboy Slim, Zoe is afflicted with the same curse as Liza Tarbuck – she’s a dead ringer for her father. In this case it’s eccentric TV personality Johnny Ball. Zoe overcomes this admirably with her sense of humour and bubbly personality, though. Well, she does on radio.
4. Sarah Jessica Parker
The Sex In The City actress comes in for a lot of stick over her horsey features, which may have even prompted her to have her trademark facial mole surgically removed last year. She has an indefinable attractiveness though – just watch her in L.A. Story or Mars Attacks.
3. Lisa Kudrow
Best known for her role as Phoebe Buffay in Friends, Kudrow has all the right elements of a pretty face, but somehow they don’t quite work together. It didn’t help that she was playing opposite Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox (even in our picture!), but she manages to be a hundred times more interesting than those two.
For my money, without her slap on she looks a bit like Willem Dafoe, but credit where it’s due – whatever indefinable quality renders you sexy, Madge has it in spades. She knows it too, and manages to look hot whether she’s rolling about on the floor in a leotard for a music video or in Malawi on the hunt for another child to adopt.
1. Melanie Brown
If one were cruel, one might say that the former Scary Spice is just that – scary. Usually, you would run a mile from a lass with a mannish fizzog and booming Leeds accent, but not so with Melanie. Ok, she’s got silly big rubber boobs, but out of all of the Spice Girls she seemed the most down-to-earth, bawdy and fun.
So, who did we miss? Let us know in the comments!