Beating Out Some Dust | The Daily Dust delivering the best bric a brac, daily news and events with a British flavour

A weekly rummage in the Dust.

I’ve always rather prided myself on my navigational skills when travelling in the car, however my tendency to end up in station carparks and cul-de-sacs has led the Font to insist that we invest in a Satnav. I’ve rather been against the idea, as I baulk at being told what to do, but now that Homer Simpson is available as the ‘voice’ I could be persuaded to change my mind. “Turn next left – mmmmm – a burgher stand! – BRAKE!!!!” could lead to some interesting situations, and if anything does go wrong I’ll be able to blame shift – my favourite and necessary occupation.

I was intrigued by an article in the Dust entitled “Size isn’t everything.” I opened the page as quickly as I could and was rather disappointed to find that it wasn’t about a subject I have a particular interest in [for personal reasons I really don’t want to discuss here.] Have a look for yourself – it’s rather worrying; I can imagine a future headline reading “Musical Star Smothered – he died with a smile on his face”.

George, my daughter, is very excited about the Nolan sisters reforming. I have no idea why but she says that “I’m in the mood for dancing” has very special memories for her and her friend Emily. I’m guessing that it must be something to do with a romantic evening with some blokes at the club they frequent. They’re always going down to The Pickled Shrimp, a club in the largest town near here. I never hear anything about their ‘conquests’ but having driven past the club and seen the people queuing up to go in, I have noticed that there seems to be equal numbers of ‘guys and gals’ so it must be easy to meet quite a choice of fella. It’s funny how they all go about in twos – must be like having a security blanket I suppose. I have warned George many times about blokes, but she always laughs it off and tells me there’s no need to worry. She’s still only 20, so she has absolutely no idea of the power of hormones.

The story that really cheered me up this week is that Shooting Stars is coming back for another series; including a reduced Ulrika. I’ve always liked to include Ulrika as one of my ‘five-a-day’ [she’s a Swede! geddit?] oh dear, now I’ve made myself laugh …… hang on ……. I’ve got to calm down a bit … *deep breath* ……whoops ……. *hiccup* …. oh no, it’s no good, I can’t continue ……. the last time I tried to type in this state …. *hic* ….. I made so many typo’s writing a story about a duck’s aunt that I got the sack …… *hic* ….. you’d better flick through the Dust yourself if you want to find out all about Ulrika’s physical changes ….. *hic* ………..

The Daily Dust – it’s the only paper I read you know ……. *hic*

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