Eat Off Naked Women For £250

A new up-market method of dining has been devised – eating off naked models.

The idea has been brought to life by London-based businessmen Nigel Carlos and Nick Hepburn; they insist that there is a place for the elaborate Japanese tradition of ‘Nyotaimori’, translated as ‘Female Body Presentation’, within the catering market.

It does sound a bit unusual; obscene, even. It’s easy to imagine a restaurant full of The Sun’s page 3 devotees wrestling for the first sushi course. However, the price of this extravagant occasion rules most of Britain out of being able to experience the wealth of ‘assets’ the evening has to offer.

In fact, the prospective lewdness of a night out eating off a naked woman is actually a respected Japanese tradition strictly for the historically perverse higher classes. It is also one of the most lavish means of serving cuisine- as Nigel Carlos explained:

“It’s nothing like a strip club or nothing along those lines, it’s very smart, very discreet and in the best venues that you can think of, the best drinks, everybody is looked after and it’s pure luxury.”

Although intoxicated men and elegant women don’t often go hand-in-hand on social occasions, the service isn’t doing anything to refrain from allowing alcohol to flow as freely as the beauties’ locks. Upon arrival, the wealthy person and his social entourage can enjoy champagne that only acts as a minor introductory precursor to the unlimited alcohol that is on offer during the 10-course sushi dinner cooked to perfection by a Japanese chef.

Nigel added: “You’ve probably never eaten sushi of this quality, let alone presented in this way, and I guarantee you’ll be talking about it for many years to come.”

At £250 per person, The Daily Dust doesn’t think anyone will be able to reminisce about their experience of ‘Nyotaimori’ in the near future.