The Daily Dust delivering the best bric a brac, daily news and events with a British flavour » Top Lists Mon, 15 Sep 2014 09:05:14 +0000 en-US hourly 1 The Joy of Six: football unbeaten runs Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:13:59 +0000 The DailyDust reporter Unbeaten Runs by Football teams, is your team in there?

Powered by article titled “The Joy of Six: football unbeaten runs” was written by Scott Murray, for on Friday 2nd December 2011 08.43 UTC

1) Perugia (Serie A, 37 games, May 1978 to October 1979)

Arrigo Sacchi’s Milan side are more iconic than the later Fabio Capello version but surely not as good. Sacchi’s side won two European Cups but only one Serie A title; Capello led Milan to three titles in four years, plus one Champions League, the latter with the only performance in a final seriously to rival the one given by Real Madrid in 1960. Capello went his first season, and the best part of the following one, unbeaten. The run stretched for 58 matches, an Italian record.

But in many ways it is not an Italian record. Having already won the 1991-92 title, Milan’s last-day celebrations in Foggia were an eye-opener; they were 2-1 down at half-time, only to prevail 8-2. During their run they had put four past Roma, Ascoli, Cagliari and Verona, five past Napoli and Sampdoria. The following season they won 5-4 at Pescara, 5-1 at Napoli, 5-3 at home to Lazio and 7-3 at Fiorentina. No, it is not a very Italian record at all.

Compare and contrast with the only other team to go unbeaten all season in Serie A during the modern era: Perugia. They remained undefeated during the 1978-79 season, which had begun with a fortune teller who lived a couple of streets away from the stadium declaring that Perugia would win the scudetto. Her reasoning was that they played in red and white, which happened to be the national colours of the fresh-from-the-box pope.

Sadly this papal blessing proved to be a lot of bull. Though Perugia went through the entire campaign unsullied by defeat, they recorded only 11 wins out of 30, drawing the other 19 games. Nearly a quarter of their games – seven – ended in goalless draws – none more Latin. They were notorious for keeping possession well enough but doing little with the ball. They had the best defence in the league, built around the captain, Pierluigi Frosio, which conceded only 16 goals. But their main striker, Walter Speggiorin, scored only nine, a fairly poor return even for Serie A back in the day. The right-winger Salvatore Bagni managed eight.

With six matches to play, Perugia trailed the leaders, Milan, by two points. They could manage only a draw against Milan in Perugia, the first of four in their last six. They ended the season in second, three points behind Nils Liedholm’s side, for whom Gianni Rivera enjoyed a scudetto-winning swansong as another legend in the making, Franco Baresi, made his debut. Perugia’s unbeaten stretch lasted seven games into the following season, until Torino turned them over at home 2-0. It would be the first of nine league defeats, as they ended mid-table, the aura resolutely gone.

2) Celtic (Scottish First Division, 62 games, November 1915 to April 1917)

Only two clubs have gone through an entire Scottish top-flight season unbeaten. No prizes are on offer. But you will be pleased to hear the relentless sitcom-style one-upmanship of the Old Firm has been in evidence since the early days. In 1897 Celtic appointed the 29-year-old Willie Maley as manager. He won the title in his first season, the team unbeaten in all 18 games, winning 15 and drawing three, as they ran rings round opponents in their then green-and-white vertical stripes and black shorts.

Sure enough, the next year Rangers had to go one better. They too had a young boss – the 33-year-old match secretary and future manager William Wilton, who had been running the team at Ibrox since the age of 26 – and now they had an unbeaten season to match. Unlike Celtic, they did not drop a point, winning all 18 games and scoring 78 goals in the process.

The nearest either team has come since to an unbeaten season was Rangers’s near miss of 1967-68. Davie White’s team’s only defeat of the season came in their last match, at home against Aberdeen, a 3-2 reverse that saw them hand the title to Jock Stein’s Celtic. After the game the Rangers striker Alex Ferguson – the club’s leading scorer that season with 23 goals – was approached by a frustrated fan who toe-punted him viciously in the shin before wandering off. “I couldn’t really blame him,” said Ferguson. “I felt as sick as he did.”

Celtic too have nearly, but not quite, gone through an entire campaign unbeaten, though despite falling two hurdles from home, at least they won the league that season. It was also the end of a Homeric unbeaten run that stands as a record in Scotland today.

The Scottish First Division was not suspended for hostilities during the Great War. They won four titles in a row under a middle-aged Maley between 1914 and 1917. The 1915-16 and 1916-17 seasons were the peak for a legendary team featuring the playmaker Jimmy McMenemy and the goalscorer Jimmy Quinn. They lost three times in the first 12 games of the 1915-16 season, then not again in the league until Kilmarnock beat them in the second-last game of the following season. Two titles were in the bag, but perhaps the 62-game unbeaten run has more resonance. No mean feat, especially when, on 15 April 1916, they had to play two games in one day, winning 3-1 at Motherwell before heading back to Parkhead to tank Raith Rovers 6-0.

3) Preston North End (FA Cup and friendlies, 42 games, 1887 to 1888)

Arsenal hold the English league record for going unbeaten, their brilliant side of Thierry Henry, Dennis Bergkamp and Robert Pires sashaying through the 2003-04 campaign unscathed, a run that had begun with a 6-1 win at home to Southampton in the penultimate game of the previous season and continued until they lost 6.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 to Wayne Rooney’s saucy triple salchow and pike at Old Trafford in the 10th game of the 2004-05 season. At 49 games the run was a magnificent achievement, albeit one tinged with the bittersweet pain of falling one match short of an historic half- century not out, and to a dodgy penalty to boot. However, any sympathy soon evaporated with the side’s graceless reaction to their first taste of league defeat in 17 months, an unnamed Gunner throwing a pizza-and-soup meal-deal combo in the direction of Sir Alex Ferguson in the tunnel after the game. A monstrous sulk lasting a month ensued; by the time they came round, they had won only one of five league matches and José Mourinho was disappearing into the distance, flicking Vs into the rear-view mirror.

For their unbeaten Premiership efforts in 2003-04 that Arsenal team were crowned the Invincibles. It is a monicker that has failed to catch on outside the red-and-white half of north London, however, and here is why. Elsewhere during that season Arsène Wenger’s side lost: the opening game of the campaign, the Community Shield against Manchester United, on penalties; an FA Cup semi to the same opposition; a League Cup fixture against Middlesbrough; and Champions League matches against Internazionale, Dynamo Kyiv and Chelsea. Only a churl would attempt to demean their stunning efforts in the league by bringing other competitions into the discussion but then, if anyone is going to start bandying terms like Invincibles about, well, the churl will not be the one who has started the row.

The thing is, precedents have been set, and there are only one true Invincibles in English football: the Preston North End side of 1888-89, who romped the first season of the Football League, finishing 11 points ahead of Aston Villa after winning 18 of their games, drawing the other four and scoring 74 goals. It is fair to point out that Preston had only 22 league matches to play, as opposed to Arsenal’s 38. And Wenger’s side had five competitions to contest, not two. On the other hand, you can only beat what is put in front of you and Preston did not lose a single competitive match that season; they also won the FA Cup, keeping a clean sheet in every game in their run. Now that is invincible. (In the interests of balance, Arsenal fans irritated with any Preston one-upmanship may like to point out that Tom Watson’s Sunderland side thrashed North End 4-1 in a friendly during their so-called Invincible year.)

And yet arguably Preston’s grandest achievement came the season before, with a barely believable 42-game run of consecutive wins. Sadly, William Sudell’s team bridled at the very last jump, the 1888 FA Cup final against West Bromwich Albion. Having beaten Hyde 26-0 along the way to the final – a score that is still an English record – they were so confident of winning that they requested a photo of themselves taken with the trophy. Before the match had started. “Hadn’t you better win it first?” asked the referee. Good call, ref! George Woodhall’s goal 13 minutes from time gave WBA a 2-1 win and ensured Preston were sent back to Lancashire to think on. Which, in fairness, they clearly did.

4) Hungary (Friendlies, Olympic Games, Central European International Cup, World Cup, 30 games, June 1950 to July 1954)

Spain hold the record for the longest unbeaten run in the international arena, a stretch which began after a 1-0 friendly defeat by Romania in Cadiz, took in their victorious 2008 European Championship campaign and ended with a surprisingly comprehensive 2-0 defeat by the USA in the semi-finals of the 2009 Confederations Cup. But nobody really remembers any of this. In a strange quirk of a sport which has been going for the best part of a century and a half, there is only one unbeaten international run with any real historical or emotional heft: the 30-game pomp of the golden Hungarian team of the early 1950s.

Those 30 games were actually 32: a 7-1 win over Turkey in the 1952 Olympics and a 5-0 thrashing of East Germany are matches which do not seem to count, for strange bureaucratic reasons that fly over the Joy of Six’s simple head. But 30 it officially is, and what a run in any case, starting with a 5-2 win in Poland in June 1950, taking in the gold medal at the 1952 Helsinki Olympics – chiefly memorable to Jeno Buzanszky for the kiss he got off Miss World at the medal ceremony – and Hungary’s famed 6-3 and 7-1 eviscerations of England in late 1953 and early 1954.

The run also took in some of the most famous matches of all time at the 1954 World Cup: an 8-3 skelping of West Germany; a hard-fought 4-2 win over Brazil (after which Ferenc Puskas hit Pinheiro upside the head with a broken bottle during a dressing-room brawl that lasted over 10 minutes); a sparkling skillfest against Uruguay (which nevertheless contained the best card-marking reducer in the entire history of football); and the run-ending defeat by West Germany, with a little help from linesman Sandy Griffiths, who controversially flagged Puskas offside late in the final.

Unlike Arsenal at the Battle of the Buffet, Puskas was philosophical in the wake of defeat. “To take defeats with the same dignity as we accepted triumphs must be our aim,” he mused. Although like Arsenal, food was on the mind of the player later christened by Alfredo di Stefano as the Galloping Gut: “Had we been offered the role of runners-up before the series started, we might have accepted gladly. But then the appetite for success grows as one eats.”

Hungary immediately went on another unbeaten run after their shock defeat in Berne, another 18 matches, giving them a total of one defeat in 49 games between June 1950 and February 1956. The team, however, was starting to break up as players fled for the west.

5) England (Friendlies, World Cup qualifiers, September 1988 to May 1990)

And the award for the longest unbeaten international run by any of the home nations goes to … Scotland. Between 1879 and 1888, the Scots went 22 matches without defeat, a run which included 13 straight wins, only two draws, and wins over England by 5-4, 6-1 and 5-1. On the flip side the only other teams Scotland played over the nine-year period were a not particularly good Wales and an equally dismal Ireland. And the run was bookended by defeats by England; 5-4 in London in 1879, a 5-0 humiliation in Glasgow in 1888.

(That run of 13 wins, incidentally, has been bettered only by Spain, Brazil, France and Australia, the last for the most part swatting aside nonentities such as Tahiti and the Solomon Islands.)

England’s best run of results – statistically speaking – were between 1890 and 1896, a 20-game unbeaten stretch. This time it was Scotland’s turn to bookend a run of fixtures which generally turned out to be one-sided wallopings of the Welsh and Irish. Their post-war record is a much more impressive 19, between October 1965 and April 1967, taking in as it does the winning of the World Cup in 1966. Two 3-2 Wembley defeats propped up either end of this golden era: Austria coming back from 2-1 down with 17 minutes to play in 1965, half the Scotland team messing around with ball tricks in the 1967 Home Championship while Denis Law had the funk on because he wanted to rattle in more goals.

Often forgotten now, though, because of what immediately followed it, is England’s staunch run after Euro 88 under Bobby Robson. England’s stock had rarely been lower after losing all three games in Germany that summer but, though they went home with their tails between their legs, they also took back the knowledge that they had for the most part matched the new European champions, Holland, in an undeserved 3-1 defeat.

It was not always smooth. England stuttered to a lucky 1-1 draw in Saudi Arabia late in 1988, causing the Daily Mirror to pen the headline GO, IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, GO, which, while being slightly unfair on Robson, may well be the last time a British tabloid has shown any form of thought, reverence or respect to Islam. England mooched with some uncertainty through their World Cup qualifying group. But they made it through unbeaten and in the run-up to Italia 90 form began to pick up, with a 1-0 win over Brazil at Wembley, followed by Paul Gascoigne’s greatest display, that daft-as-a-brush 4-2 win over Czechoslovakia.

The 17-game run was ended in May 1990, when Uruguay won England’s World Cup send-off at Wembley 2-1, Peter Shilton letting a José Perdomo free-kick through his hands, which were flapping like the doors of a haunted saloon in the wind. Robson announced his relief at the end of the run – better a defeat when it did not matter than at the World Cup finals. That long period unbeaten would stand England in good stead: they escaped defeat in their final warm-up match against Tunisia with a last-minute Steve Bull goal, then grimly battled their way to that night in Turin.

England went 12 games unbeaten at the start of Graham Taylor’s reign, too, before Germany turned up at Wembley. But let us not go anywhere near there.

6) Sparta Prague (51 games, Central Bohemian league, 1920 to 1923)

Only three teams have put together a longer unbeaten run in the league than the aforementioned Celtic team of the world war one. Al Ahly of Egypt remained undefeated between May 2004 and January 2007, a run of 70 games. Steaua Bucharest and Ceausescu’s goons helped themselves to a tainted 104-game run in Romania between August 1986 and September 1989 (though their European Cup win of 1986 and appearance in the 1988 final shows there really was little need to load the dice). The world record is held by ASEC Abidjan of the Cote d’Ivoire, a 108-match combination between December 1989 and 1994.

But here is the one: between 1920 and 1923, before the advent of a national Czechoslovakian league, Sparta Prague won all four of the regional titles on offer. They played 51 times during those four campaigns – and won all 51 matches. Which is truly ridiculous, even before you tot up the goals for and against: 237 to 40. And people say modern football is an uncompetitive nonsense.

Many thanks to Cris Freddi and Rob Smyth © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010

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The Chelsea Flower Show: 10 things you didn’t know Tue, 24 May 2011 10:41:47 +0000 Admin1

Powered by article titled “The Chelsea Flower Show: 10 things you didn’t know” was written by Matthew Appleby and Jane Perrone, for on Tuesday 24th May 2011 09.38 UTC

1. B&Q had to move its 10m veg tower garden a metre or two so it couldn’t be seen behind BBC presenter Alan Titchmarsh, who is the face of B&Q. BBC rules say no advertising by presenters.

2. Parsnips were one of the star plants in the best in show garden, designed by Cleve West for the Daily Telegraph. It was inspired by Roman ruins in Libya.

3. Two gardens will raise money for natural disaster victims – Tamata from New Zealand and the Japanese show garden. Tamata designer Xanthe White’s last show garden was destroyed by the Christchurch earthquake in February.

4. Most expensive items at the show are a Barbara Hepworth sculpture on Yorkshire tourism garden and a sculpture on the Hillier exhibit. Both £70k-ish. Much less than last year’s bling – a £10m diamond on David Domoney’s garden.

5. The Monaco Garden was visited by Prince Albert, who is a keen gardener, a passion passed down from his late mother Princess Grace.

6. Strangest celebrity mis-match of the show had to be JLS doing flower arranging in the Great Pavilion aided by Simon Lycett. They looked suitably bemused by the whole event.

7. Big name designers might not return to the show until 2013, Chelsea’s centenary. We’re talking Christopher Bradley-Hole, Andy Sturgeon and Tom Stuart-Smith. This year’s big names are Bunny Guinness, Diarmuid Gavin and James Wong.

8. The most expensive garden – The Times at £400,000.

9. Biggest tree ever at Chelsea-a 11m Thuja on Leeds Council‘s show garden. Not the 6m tree on Hillier’s stand as widely reported.

10. It costs £40,000 to fix the ground at the site post show. Kestrel Contractors does the work and the site is ready to use by mid June.

<a href="" rel="nofollow"> <img src="" alt="Ads by The Guardian" /> </a> © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010

Published via the Guardian News Feed plugin for WordPress.

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Which are the songs that flopped at Eurovision? Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:21:25 +0000 Ewan The fans loved them while the public handed them nul points.

The time is almost here, the Eurovision Song Contest is less than a month away. And that means that fans around the world are debating which song is going to win.

Invariably they’ll choose a disco number, with lots of female voices, key changes and costumes that are rather flamboyant – the sort of songs that could easily be described as Eurovision fan wank.

Invariably these are the same songs that sink without a trace once the public start voting, but still, it keeps them off the streets.

And now Eurovision Insight has gathered the Top Ten songs the fans looed that the rest of the world thought “typical Eurovision.”

Head over to find out the top eurovision fanwank videos.

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Ten Steps to being a good MP and Minister Tue, 08 Feb 2011 16:34:11 +0000 Ewan Rod Clark’s guide to being a Minister reads like The Thick of It.

So what tips does the civil servant offer to those new to the ministerial jobs?

  1. Enjoy it! If you do, it will inspire others as well.
  2. Your diary secretary is your new best friend.
  3. Prep, prep, prep. Preparation is vital.
  4. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Don’t put decisions off – they’re the essence of being a minister.
  5. Prioritisation. The department’s priorities and definition of what is important may differ from your own.
  6. Explain Parliament to your private office.
  7. Keep your political edge. Don’t get cut off from colleagues.
  8. Communicate with your Secretary of State – either through structured catch-up sessions or more ad-hoc.
  9. Special Advisers and Permanent Secretaries are not just the Secretary of State.
  10. Make space for families – eg. don’t have red boxes delivered at 7am on a Saturday morning.

Looks like the Independent on Sunday got the story, and the UK press are sharing (without linking) like mad. So we might as well join in as well!

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Eurovision isn’t just for Christmas Wed, 29 Dec 2010 10:59:50 +0000 The DailyDust reporter image

Still think the Song Contest is just seven days in May? Think again.

Leading Eurovision commentator ESC Insight has decided to point out that it’s possible to enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest throughout the year – much to the horror of whoever in the BBC needs to decide on who to send to represent the UK and is hoping we all just forget about it (*).

So their’ “Nine Ways to Enjoy Eurovision on the Internet” is going to be essential reading for the closet fans in these dark months. For example:

While you can download the ESC Insight Podcast and listen to our news and Juke Box Jury shows at your leisure, if it’s Wednesday evening in Europe then you should turn in to Radio International, the three hour radio programme (that also stream online) brings a bundle of music, news and interviews in what they call an Ultimate Eurovision Experience.

You can find the rest online at ESC Insight, hat tip to Sharleen.

(*) PS Pixie Lott, Charlotte Church or Katherine Jenkins, m’kay?

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Way Ay Man, Top Ten Green Cities In Britain Mon, 18 Oct 2010 08:33:34 +0000 Admin1 The forum for the Future have just released their Sustainable Cities Index, and Newcastle has been named as Britain’s greenest city for the second year running.

Moves to install electric vehicle charging points and its support of clean technology firms helped keep hold of the trophy.

Peter Madden, chief executive of Forum for the Future, said: “Cities are having to count every penny so it’s essential that they invest wisely for long-term success.

“Leaders like Newcastle and Leicester are developing plans to run services in smarter ways, tackle challenges like climate change and secure the jobs of the future.”

1.  Newcastle
2.  Leicester
3.  Brighton
4.  Bristol
5.  London
6.  Leeds
7.  Coventry
8.  Plymouth
9.  Edinburgh
10. Sheffield

Image credit NewcastleGateshead

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The Legendary Chortle Guide to Fringe Comedy Review Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:00:00 +0000 Ewan Can you decode the mystery phrases in an Edinburgh Fringe review? Here’s some help!

Having fun at the Edinburgh Fringe? Top UK Comedy site Chortle has picked out key phrases and words for you to watch out for in the national press and theatrical media when describing the comedy on offer.

Whet your appetite with these:

Edgy: A comedian who swears a lot.

Ground-breaking: A comedian who swears a lot and makes jokes about paedophilia.

Pushes the boundaries: A comedian who swears a lot and makes jokes about paedophilia AND rape.

A comedian’s comedian: Someone who doesn’t make audiences laugh but other comedians find hilarious because of the awkwardness of them alienating the punters.

Rising star: Has a parent who works in the business.

…and my personal favourite:

As seen on "Mock the Week": Not a woman.

The full list of definitions can be found on Chortle, picture by Jason Perkins.

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Has Michael Schumacher proved he’s The Stig by attacking Rubens Barrichello? Sun, 01 Aug 2010 23:41:57 +0000 Ewan We told you Barrichello was a marked man! Maybe Michael Schumacher trying to take him out at the Hungarian Grand Prix means he really is The Stig? Still, what does the internet think?

Well they’ve decided that Schumacher is the root of all evil, and Twitter has been listing his evil-ness since the incident at the Hungaroring. We’ve lifted out some of the best!

Some say he invented IE6

Michael Schumacher invented NatWest.

Michael Schumacher slips gherkins in everyone’s burgers when they’re not looking.

Michael Schumacher eats your last chocolate chip cookie

Michael Schumacher is a PC, and Windows 7 was his idea.

Michael Schumacher introduced the Grey Squirrel to the British Isles

Michael Schumacher swapped Cheryl Coles malaria tablets for tictacs

Michael Schumacher redesigned the Daleks in the last series of Doctor Who

Michael Schumacher turned Opal Fruits into Starburst

And one last thought from the team that started it all…

Crikey, the #schubastard tag seems to have been adopted with gusto. Did you know he always tips restaurant staff 2%?

Do you Dust’ers have any more?

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Have you ever heard such language? Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:35:51 +0000 Ewan Top 100 insults

The 100 greatest movie insults of all time.

Harry Hanrahan’s video does exactly what it says in the title – although with a certain Hollywood bent it’s nice to see Monty Python and The Princess Bride in the

Yes Malcolm Tucker is here too, but the #1 insult? Well with hindsight it’s obvious but we wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. After all, you might shout at us and you’d be hard pushed to be original after this video that may or may not be suitable to listen to at work.


Thanks to b3ta.

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The Top Germany v England Videos Sat, 26 Jun 2010 10:22:47 +0000 Ewan image

Ahead of Sunday’s vital match, it’s time to see what support the internet has for this classic fixture.

It’s not all mentions of 1966 and the second world war (but hey, it does happen), but the internet is a wonderful place to find the true spirit of fans and support ahea of the England Germany tie…

1. Germany fans “chant off” against England Fans

Let’s start off with how it always should be – two groups of opposing fans meeting in a street at the World Cup, and deciding to see who has the best songs. No thuggery, no violence, and let’s hope for lots of this on Sunday.


2. The Baseballs Sing “Three Lions”

Singing is a good place to stay – heavily advertised in the UK, “The Baseballs” are a Germany 50s swing band who delight in covering modern songs in the doo-wop Rock n Roll style of the fifties. And they;ve decided to thank their English fans with this rendition of Three Lions.


3. Boris Johnson vs The Germans

Let’s hope nobody shows this to Wayne Rooney and describes it as a tactical expose.


4. Two World Wars and One World Cup

Speaking of fans meeting, the cliched view is always good for a phone company to make an advert! Kudos if they managed to turn this one round since the qualifying round.


5.Wayne Roo-ney

So where’s the English talisman? He’s here… and with apologies to John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Why couldn’t this have been the official single…


And may the best team win – but whoever that is, let’s hope it doesn’t end in penalties.

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Top McDonalds Happy Meal Toys Mon, 03 May 2010 09:46:06 +0000 Ewan image
Is it time to look back at the life of the Happy Meal toy?

With news that Santa Clara County in the US are set to ban the toy inside a McDonalds Happy Meal as it encourages poor dietary habits, we look back at five memorable Happy Meal moments from the Golden Arches.


5. Ronald McDonald Sunglasses

Just… wrong…


4. Hello Kitty Toaster

Already an infinitely expanding collectible market, Hello Kitty drove fans into a purring frenzy with her appearance in 2005 for her 30th anniversary. Who wouldn’t love getting a toaster in with your dinner?


3. Sonic the Hedgehog Extreme Boarding

A computer game with your dinner! Kids love that, even if it has only two buttons and it’s yet another dodge the enemy in three lines type of game.


2. Ty Beanie Babies

They shifted over 100 million happy meals, tied in with the biggest craze for tiny stuffed toys, and were as disposable and memorable as the meals. A perfect fit in other words.



1 Disney’s Robin Hood and Little John in 100 Years of Disney

Disney and McDonalds have always been close, and with their “100 years of Disney” campaign in December 2001, they set about providing the Golden Arches with 100 different Disney models, some of the most highly detailed toys in the Happy Meal history, and with 100 to collect in just one month, a great bit of marketing as well.



What memories of Happy Meals do you have? Let us know in the comments.

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Top Ten International Hangover Cures Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:56:19 +0000 Andy Checkley So you’ve woken up with a throbbing head and a mouth that tastes like the bottom of a chicken coop?

Daylight has become the enemy, you can’t motivate yourself to do anything, gentle birdsong grates on your ears and memories of what led up to this point are hazy. Then, the dreaded meat sweats and the shakes.

The medical definition is Veisalgia, from the Norwegian kveis (“uneasiness following debauchery”) and the Greek, Algia (pain) – you’re hungover. While the best cure is not to drink so bloody much, it’s probably too late for that by now.

Fear not, however, for the Daily Dust is on hand to do all the research you’re too unwell to attempt.

10. Savoy Corpse Reviver


1 oz. brandy

1 oz. Fernet Branca

1 oz. White Creme de Menthe

Created by Joe Gilmore, one of the longest-serving Head Barmen at the American Bar in London’s Savoy Hotel. I’ll be clear – this really isn’t a cure and is designed more to get you back on the horse, awake and drinking again. Shake with ice, strain into glass, take whenever steam is needed.

One will revive a corpse, three may create one.

9. Bacon Sandwich


Last year, scientists finally proved what we always knew – bacon butties help to cure hangovers. The bread in your sandwich is full of carbohydrates to restore lost energy and protein-filled bacon breaks down into amino acids, which your drinking has depleted. These help to clear your head.

A bacon butty can even help before you start drinking, as fat lines the stomach and slows the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream – giving you more time to cope with the effects.

8. Prairie Oyster


1 oz. Dry Gin

1 Egg

1 Teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce

2 Dashes Tabasco Sauce

Salt and Pepper

America’s answer to the Bloody Mary, the Prairie Oyster’s raw, unbroken egg is rich in cysteine, which helps to clean up free radicals building up in your liver, destructive chemicals typically cleaned up by the glutathiome enzyme your binge has depleted.

Unfortunately, the Daily Dust cannot condone the consumption of raw eggs – salmonella honestly won’t help you get over alcoholics’ retribution. Try frying an egg and whipping it on top of your bacon butty instead.

7. Katerfrühstück


Literally translating from German as “Tomcat’s Breakfast”, dishes like this are popular throughout northern Europe for combating a hangover. Such breakfasts typically contain pickled, salty food such as rollmops - pickled herring fillets rolled around slivers of onion and pickle – served with bread.

While it sounds horrendous to the hungover stomach, this shouldn’t be written off – the briny nature of these snacks replenishes electrolytes and minerals while its saltiness will at least encourage you to drink more water. Drinking pickle juice is said to be a traditional Polish hangover cure.

Munich, host of Oktoberfest, is also home to the Viktualienmarkt, a great collection of food and fish stalls and shops which hold an impressive array of Teutonic hangover food.

6. Tripe Soup


Putting a cow’s stomach into your own may sound like I’m winding you up, but trust me – spicy tripe soup is a favourite fog-cutter all over the world. Variations on simmered tripes, garlic, vinegar, sour cream, peppers and spices can be found as Ciorba de Burta in Romania, Iskembe çorbasi in Turkey, Menudo in Mexico and Hae Jang Gook in Korea.

While the tripe is full of protein, the spices work in a similar way to those of the Prairie Oyster and Bloody Mary – their introduction gives the digestion an issue to concentrate on other than the alcohol still washing around inside you (its unhealthy, but at least you will feel better).

5. Bloody Mary


1 to 2 oz. vodka

Tomato juice

Worcester sauce,

Tabasco sauce

Salt and pepper

Pure horseradish

Dash of lemon or lime juice.

Garnish with a stick of celery, olives, carrots, asparagus spears or other vegetables (or even some meats).

Created by Parisian barman Pete Petiot in 1921 as an “eye-opener” to combat hangovers, this legendary cocktail is filled with all kinds of strange ingredients.

Yet a properly mixed Bloody Mary is a delicious and strong-flavoured cocktail – the hair-of-the-dog (a term stemming from a Medieval English belief that drinking a tonic containing part of what harmed you would cure it) two ounces of vodka calm hangover jitters, while the lemon, spices and tomato quell the queasiness alcohol typically inspires in the hung-over (and restore lost vitamin C). Pepper aids the digestive process.

Variations include the Bloody Maureen (replace vodka with Guinness), Virgin Mary (no vodka), Bloody Geisha (replace vodka with sake, horseradish with wasabi sauce) and Red Fairy (replace vodka with absynthe), among many other international interpretations.

4. Fresh Fruit and Juice


A greasy fry-up will give you plenty of amino acids and carbohydrates, but alcohol is a diuretic – it’s making you go to the toilet all the time so you’re dehydrated. Unfortunately, this has washed most of your carefully accumulated vitamins and minerals down the pan and you’re going to need more.

If you’re feeling wobbly, you’re suffering from hypoglycemia. Fruit contains fructose, natural sugar, which will fix this as well as burning off alcohol and giving you more energy.

A glass of fresh orange juice is a good start, to restore that lost vitamin C. Tomatoes are rich in vitamins A and C as well as antioxidants and beta-carotene.

Bananas are also an excellent idea – they contain fructose , potassium (which will fight the diuretic urge of the ale) and magnesium, which soothes the pounding blood vessels causing your headache. They’re even a natural antacid that will fight the nausea.

3. Umeboshi Pickled Plums


After a hard night on the sake, the Japanese refer to a hangover as futsukayoi – “two-days drunk”. Fortunately, Umeboshi are on hand – a medicinal fruit used throughout history to aid digestion and cure colds with Okayu rice porridge. The fruit was common in soldier’s rations throughout the Middle Ages, to flavour food and relieve battle fatigue.

While the sharp, salty taste can be very offputting, bear with it – it contains a great deal of pyric acid, normalising your digestive system, strengthening your traumatised liver and drawing toxins from the blood. Bite off half a plum to combat a regular hangover – if you’re facing a monster, herbalists recommend a full plum (though be careful – their taste is very, very strong). Boil or eat with rice to mitigate the flavour and enjoy with plenty of good, antioxidant-filled green chai to rehydrate and detoxify.

2. Take a bath (or even a Banya)


Having a bath while hungover is a good idea. If you’re sweating more than usual, your body is just worried about the amount of poisonous chemicals you forced into it (it also doesn’t help that you’ve more than likely been around a lot of cigarette smoke).

A bath will clean the skin’s pores and its heat will not only help it to flush unwelcome substances but will relax tensed muscles and calm your headache.

The Russians take this one step further, with the Banya – essentially a sauna and bathing ritual. Though often small log cabins, one of the grandest and oldest Banya is Moscow’s palatial Sandunóvskie Baths, built in 1896.

Bathers sit in a sauna, typically heated above 110 degrees and often wearing felt hats called shapka to protect the head, while veniki (water-soaked birch leaves) are used to strike the back to speed up circulation.

If this is a strange mental image, the benefits are unquestionable – the intense heat helps to purge your skin and blood of unhealthy substances, making life easier for your kidneys. It also dilates your blood vessels, improving blood flow to your tired muscles and brain. Not only that, few bacteria can survive at a sauna’s temperature – and if your heart is hammering from the heat, you can enjoy the greater release of endorphins (natural painkillers) this causes.

1. Full English Breakfast


The Great British Breakfast forms one pillar of the triumvirate of British food, alongside Fish and Chips and the Sunday Roast. One of these has pretty much everything you need to get over your hangover and get on with the day.

No one in their right mind could call the Full English healthy, but enjoyed occasionally it’s a lesser evil. It’s a collection of pretty much everything above – tomatoes for vitamins and fructose, eggs for cysteine, fibre-filled beans to aid digestion and bacon, sausages and black pudding for amino acids, fat and grease. Mushrooms, properly done, give a nice variety of flavour to what otherwise is basically a pile of fried meat. This is the ballast that’ll get you through.

It’s even versatile – if you can’t eat pork, a beefburger works surprisingly well (though purists will be up in arms). Haggis also blends right in for a Full Scottish Breakfast, or White Pudding for a Full Irish.

Serve with tomato ketchup and brown sauce and a cup of orange juice or tea – if Britain built an empire on tea, you can beat a hangover with it.

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Top Ten EastEnders Moments Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:08:43 +0000 Nigel Slater phil mitchell shot version

Tonight sees popular British soap opera ‘EastEnders’ celebrate it’s 25th birthday!

And what a way to mark the occasion as tonight’s episode will be performed exclusively LIVE by the cast and will reveal Archie Mitchell’s killer.

It’s bound to be a great night’s viewing and plenty of twists and turns will be evident throughout but who did actually kill Archie?

It will be the first time ever, that the soap has broiadcasted a live episode and reports suggest there are a few concerns for the makers of the programme regarding the weather and an illness to the brilliant actress Lacey Turner, who plays Stacey Slater.

Will she make it? You will have to tune in to find out! There is no doubt another exciting and memorable cliffhanger is on the cards.

To mark 25 years of the soap, we here at the Daily Dust have produced a top ten list of our favourite and most dramatic moments from EastEnders.

There has been so many that it was hard to choose just ten but we hope you agree with our selection. If you don’t then please feel free to make a comment and say what you feel should be in the list!    

10. Kat Slater reveals she is Zoe’s mother (2001)

Kat gets angry after Zoe reveals she is set to leave Walford for a new life Uncle Harry (not knowing he is her dad). Kat can’t believe she is leaving and tells her not to. Zoe then yells outside the Vic: “Well you ain’t my mother” for which Kat yells out “Yes I am” – great stuff!


 9. Dirty Den’s Divorce Papers surprise (1986)

The evil and twisted Dirty Den is at his cunning best on Christmas Day in 1986 when he gives the lying and boozing Angie a Christmas to remember by giving her the divorce papers to finish off their marriage! The episode was watched by more than 30 millions viewers.

dirty den surprise version

8. The end for Steve Owen (2002)

While on a bitter fued withPhil Mitchell, nightclub owner Steve (played by Martin Kemp), life soon ended in a high speed car chase with the two after Phil’s daughter Louisa was inside Steve’s car. Phil shot the tyre of Steve’s car and as a result crashed into a wall with a petrol barrier causing the car to explode up in flames. Phil rushed to grab Louisa out of the car but the flames were too intense to rescue Steve – therefore resulting in his death.

7. Arthur loses it! (1986)

On the same episode as Dirty Den’s Christmas day surprise, Arthur Fowler has a breakdown and smashes up his front room after getting caught stealing the Christmas Club money, which was to raise funds for his daughter Michelle’s wedding!

6. Max and Stacey’s Affair Exposed on Christmas Day (2007)

Stacey’s lusty affair with her husband’s (Bradley) father Max was revealed just over two years ago in another fantastic Christmas Day episode. While the family all sit together opening their presents, they play the DVD of Bradley and Stacey’s wedding where it shows Max snogging the bride! This leads up to the marriages of Bradley and Stacey and Max and Tanya breaking up. 

5. Dirty Den Murdered (2005)

After coming back from the dead in 2003, Dirty Den is killed for good by his girlfriend Chrissie, Sam Mitchell and Zoe Slater.

dirty den murdered version

4. Phil and Grant Drive into River Thames (2002)

The brothers are at it again when Phil finds out that Grant had slept with his wife Kathy. Phil with a gun threatens to kill Grant but when the Police come the pair leg it and steal a car. The brothers continue their row in the car when passenger Phil decides to shoot the steering wheel of the car. With Grant having no control of the car the pair can do nothing as the car in high speed drives into the River Thames! 

3. Sharongate – The tape episode (1994)

This is take one of the Phil and Grant Mitchell feud. Grant is forced into tears when he hears a tape confession from Sharon that she slept with his brother Phil. But Grant’s tears are turned to anger when he arrives in the Vic to stop a party and play the tape in front of Sharon and Phil and everyone else. Grant’s face is a picture while the tape is playing!

2. Frank Butcher runs over Tiffany Mitchell (2000)

The beautiful Tiffany is sensationally killed in a dramatic storyline to mark the new millennium. Tiffany is set to leave the square for good with daughter Courtney but Grant has other ideas and takes Courtney away from her mother. Tiffany runs and follows Grant outside the Vic to get her daughter her back but then  Tiffany gets hit by an oncoming car while crossing the road, causing her death – the driver? Frank Butcher! 

 1. Who shoots Phil Mitchell? (2001)

The ‘whodunnit’ on who shot Phil Mitchell was arguably one of the best storyline since the soap first broadcast back in 1985. In a gripping and exciting story – Phil gets shot outside his home. Five suspects are thrown into questioning but surprisingly it is his girlfriend Lisa who reveals to Phil that she was the one who pulled the rigger at him.

What do you think of our selection? Any other moments you feel should have been in there? Please send us your comments.

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Top Ten Most Wanted Celebrity iPod apps Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:11:26 +0000 Nigel Slater Gordon Ramsay version

There is no doubt that the iPhone and iPod have changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people ever since they first arrived in the UK.

As the popularity of smartphone applications continues to accelerate, it is becoming increasingly important for all brands, including celebrities, to be represented.

And some of the big names in showbiz have taken advantage of this including Samuel L Jackson, Lady Gaga and even ‘Deal or No Deal’s’ Noel Edmonds, by launching their very own iPod applications.

But which celebrities would you want to download an application for?

That was the question which shopping website asked to 3,000 shoppers all over the UK - who found out that their favourite celebs didn’t actually have an application listed in their honour.

The Daily Dust can now reveal the Top Ten most wanted celebrity ipod apps from the survey, which was conducted last month.

 10. Kate Moss

kate_moss version

The UK model just got inside the top ten on the chart. So what would be featured in a Kate Moss iPod application? Propably the top places to party in a city as well the top fashion hang outs in each city.

9. Victoria Beckham

victoria-beckham version

Posh Spice comes in at number 9. A Victoria Beckham application could be used for top fashion advice, tips on how to keep slim and maintain a gorgeous body – and possibly also a Spice Girls karaoke option!

8. David Beckham

david_beckham version

Following Victoria is her husband David Beckham – you just might of heard of this man before? A David Beckham application could have a fun free-kick game where you have to curl the ball into the back of the net. Also video clips of his personal top ten goals? Or how about advice on lifestyle, fashion and health tips for the blokes?  

7.  Amy Winehouse

amy winehouse version

Singer Amy Winehouse is in demand to do her own app. In typical Winehouse style ideas for this app could range from a bar crawl game (as we know she likes the odd drink or two). Or as surveyed, an alcohol units calendar – to know exactly what is in your favourite drinks.

How about a game called ‘You Tried To Get Me Into Rehab – Nooo Nooo’, where you play as Amy in a town trying to escape from police, who are keen to get you into rehab?

6. Simon Cowell

simon_cowell version

The X Factor judge and producer comes in at number 6. Ideas for a Simon Cowell app include financial advice, how to make a lot of money, plus teaching you how to sing or what makes a winner on Britain’s Got Talent! 

5. Cheryl Cole

cheryl_cole version

Fellow judge and sexy Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole has sneaked into the top five according to the UK shoppers surveyed. How about getting life and relationship advice – tip of the day type of thing from Cheryl. Also some special Girls Aloud behind the scenes footage maybe? Plus an exclusive diary telling you what Cheryl has been doing day by day?

4. Russell Brand

russell-brand version

Controversial comedian Russell Brand is in huge demand to get an application sorted out. It would have to be his best jokes list, or his wacky opinions on life and current affairs etc. Prank ideas from the long-haired funnyman!

3. Donald Trump

donald-trump-1 version

Quite a surprising one given the fact he is not from the UK. But American wealthy businessman Donald Trump makes the top three. Tips and advice on how to be successful in the business world, best ways to run a company and how to make your first million – probably suited for potential future entrepreneurs of this world.

 2. Michael McIntyre

michael-mcintyre version

Two years ago nobody had heard of him, now he is the second most demanded celebrity to create an app. 35 per cent of the total people surveyed wanted Michael McIntyre to launch an application. The app would possibly include many of his best jokes on demand.

 1. Gordon Ramsay

Gordon Ramsay version

But the winner is Scotland’s foul-mouthed chef Gordon Ramsay - gaining 38 per cent of the total votes counted. Ideas for his application will be recipe and nutritional advice on demand – including ‘how to cook’ tutorial videos. A list of his recommended restaurants in your hometown and some of his best clips on his shows including ‘The F Word’ and ‘Kitchen Nightmares’!

Get working Gordon, you are in demand my friend! It could make you even more cash!

At the other end of the scale, celebrities finishing at the bottom of the table included Susan Boyle, Madonna and Katie Price! Their agents best not bother with the idea then!

Which celebrity application would you like to use on a daily basis? Please send us your ideas and comments.

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Ten Alternatives to Jedward singing for the UK at Eurovision Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:25:00 +0000 Ewan image

Who can stop the Terrible Twosome from an appearance at the Telenor Stadium in May’s Song Contest?

With news that the odds of John and Edward representing the United Kingdom at this year’s  Eurovision Song Contest dropping from 33-1 to 25-1 we’ve been wondering if this is the single worst option available to the BBC.


But if we do want to send an eye-opening singer or group to Eurovision, rather than the expected “unknown singer” recruited through the BBC’s “Your Country Needs You",” then may we make some suggestions?

10. The cast of Glee

You need a powerhouse of marketing to make an impact in Eurovision nowadays; a fresh look but one that’s comforting at the same time; you need obvious enthusiasm and brilliant singing skills. And you need an evil Sue Sylvester in the commentary booth. Could the BBC ask Fox nicely to borrow the cast of hit musicomedy Glee for a week? Maybe even film it as an exchange trip for the actual show?


9. James Fox

There’s good form in strong singers returning to Eurovision and winning at the second time, including Dima Bilan (2006 and 2008). So our Eurovision singer from 2004, James Fox, should be in the mix somewhere. A great voice, experience in the competition and he really wants to do it.


8. Fearne Cotton

Sorry, mistyped there. I meant the “delightful” Fearne Cotton. She’s done everything else on the BBC , might as well try this.


7. Status Quo

What does a Eurovision song need? A strong rhythm, a song that’s easily remembered and is memorable after even one listen, and a bit of rebellion so the viewers at home vote for the song. Why wouldn’t Status Quo fit the bill?


6. Stephen Fry

It does not matter what Fry sings, he could read out a Shakespearean influence sonnet with Gerry Rafferty doing an improvised saxophone solo in the background; all that counts would be Fry twittering “could you, possibly, if it’s not too much trouble, vote for me at Eurovision, kthxbi” as the phone lines open.


5. Kylie

Well we do have Pete Waterman doing the production, there’s a certain closing the circle in this choice. Plus it’s Kylie. At Eurovision. Swoon!


4. William Shatner

Just because.


3. Kirsten Chenworth

Yes she’s just been on Glee, but she’s been on Broadway, Pushing Daisies, The West Wing, and you can listen to her forever without getting bored. And it’s about time America realised there is a TV show that’s bigger than their Superbowl.


2. Stephen Hawking

Would it be overkill to send the closest human being to Davros to the Eurovision stage to do some beat-boxing and sampling from his wheelchair? Okay we’d have to put a party hat on him (which would be worth the ticket price) but Hawking singing “I know the secrets of the universe but don’t have enough time to type it out before I fall in love with you” should guarantee the contest is hosted in the UK next year.


1. Stars on 45 – The Eurovision All Stars

Horribly sneaky this idea, but if the BBC can get as many former Eurovision winners on one group, write a new song for them, and then send em out as an ensemble, the fans would melt in excitement and pretty much guarantee a wide vote in every country. With six performers allowed on stage, you’ve space for Katrina (from the Waves), Cheryl Baker (Bucks Fizz), Cliff Richard (from, err, Cliff Richard and the Shadows), Lulu, and a singer from The Brotherhood of Man and The New Seekers respectively. That’s what you would call Epic Win.


Or are we forgetting someone?

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The Top 10 UK World Cup Songs Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:46:15 +0000 Andy Checkley 2010

Last week the FA confirmed that as the England management intend to focus entirely on the game, there will be no official song for this year’s South Africa World Cup.

The competition is open for whoever wants to have a chance, with a £1,000 prize for the entry with the most Youtube views when the final kicks off- so lets look back for inspiration with our top ten world cup warblers.

10. 2006 – Embrace, World At Your Feet


“With the world at your feet/There’s no heart you can’t reach”

Clean-cut Yorkshire band Embrace may not have been the best choice for a football song, featuring Coldplay-esque high-pitched male vocals and gentle rhythms, but considering their competition included the Crazy Frog we should probably be grateful.

First broadcast by Christopher Moyles on Radio 1, A BBC reporter in a Bristol pub had several people listen to and review the track. They described the track as “Too slow”, to which Moyles and a friend of the band replied live on air, “It’s not too slow, it’s perfect. Shut up and enjoy it.”

So perhaps a good song, but not a good football song, reaching #3 in the charts and well received by music critics if not by football fans.

Listen on Youtube.

9. 1982 – England Football Team, This Time (We’ll Get It Right)

“This time, more than any other time, this time/We’re going to find a way”

A promising England squad failed to deliver, returning after getting it wrong in a 0-0 draw with Spain in the second round. The single charted at #2.

Listen on Youtube.

8. 1978 – Andy Cameron, Ally’s Tartan Army


“‘Cos England cannae do it/’Cos they couldnae qualify”

Scottish comedian Andy Cameron had already found stand-up comedy success with a football hooligan act. He wrote and performed Ally’s Tartan Army when Scotland qualified for the 1978 World Cup in Argentina.

Reaching #6 in the UK charts and gaining him two appearances on Top of the Pops, Cameron put all the profits from the single into an album – which flopped while Scotland went out of the competition. Sales of Don’t Cry For Me Argentina may have risen in England after their dismal display.

Listen on Youtube.

7. 1970 – England Football Team, Back Home


“In every game we play/They’ll share every goal we are scoring”

Back Home was the first official world cup song (though by no means the first), beginning the trend of England’s World Cup team recording a celebratory single. It ticks all the boxes for a football song – rousing theme, simple tune, understandable for fans of any age and easy to sing along to.

As defending champions, 1970′s track was less about winning and more about doing your best (which was probably sensible, as it would be twelve years before England would qualify again).

The song stayed at #1 for three weeks and was used 24 years later in Baddiel & Skinner’s BBC football/comedy TV show Fantasy Football League.

Listen on Youtube.

6. 2002 – Ant & Dec, We’re On The Ball


“Sven’s our man, he’s got a plan, we’ve found a super Swede”

While they’ve recorded before (as Byker Grove characters “PJ & Duncan”), Ant and Dec have never had a single reach the UK number one, despite international promotion tours (Eternal Love reached #1 in Japan).

Recycled Arsenal chant We’re On The Ball reached #3, losing out to Pop Idol contestant Will Young (ironically, a programme which the duo presented).

Listen on Youtube.

5. 1966 – Lonnie Donegan, World Cup Willie


“He’s tough as a lion and never will give up/That’s why Willie is fav’rite for the Cup”

Every World Cup since 1966 has had a mascot, this years being Zakumi, a green haired leopard…thing. The tradition began with English lion World Cup Willie and a song of the same name by “King of Skiffle” Lonnie Donegan.

Willie made a surprise reappearance in 2007 when a marketing company’s attempt to release a series of merchandise bearing the mascot saw a legal face-off. A Deputy Judge ruled that the original drawing, and therefore copyright, belonged to the FA.

Listen on Youtube.

4. 2006 – Sham69 and the Special Assembly, Hurry Up England


“It’s been forty years since Wembley/So let’s go and win it in Germany”

A re-working of Sham69′s earlier hit Hurry Up Harry, this pop-punk tune was among the unofficial competition to World At Your Feet and released as “The People’s Anthem” after winning a vote among listeners of Virgin Radio DJ Christian O’Connell’s morning show.

In the end, the track only reached #10th in the charts, two places below Embrace’s official track. It fell quickly, despite proceeds supporting the charity Teenage Cancer Trust.

Listen on Youtube.

3. 1990 -New Order, World In Motion


“We ain’t no hooligans, this ain’t a football song/Three lions on my chest, I know we can’t go wrong”

The only New Order track to reach number one in the UK top 40, the track features several members of the England football squad including the infamous rapping John Barnes. Co-written by Keith Allen, it was originally titled E For England which was vetoed by the FA, nervous about a possible reference to the drug ecstasy.  Commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme’s re-recorded his legendary “They think it’s all over” quote for use at the beginning and end of the track.

Despite the numerous best football song polls it has topped, a remix in 1996 was cancelled by a late decision. Sadly, when re-released in 2002 the track failed to even enter the top 40 – interestingly, there had been plans for David Beckham to fill John Barnes’ boots for the rap (which, tragically, was also vetoed by the FA).

2. 1998 – Fat Les, Vindaloo


“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah Bonjour”

Originally written as a parody of football songs for the 1998 France World Cup, it’s simple lyrics were written and spoken by, again, Keith Allen. Some drew darker comparisons with hooliganism that had become prominent news with high media coverage of football riots before the impending international competition.

Yet the BBC (who commission the Official UK Music Chart) believe that the track deliberately invoked the memory of Keith Allen’s 1989 appearance on The Late Show, in which he stormed out of an argument about political correctness damaging comedy, accusing an Asian member of the panel, “It’s not a chip you’ve got on your shoulder, it’s a vindaloo!” He later told reporters that vindaloo (“Goan” cooking that actually originates in Portugal) is faux-ethnic – as are self-appointed spokesmen for minority communities who censor culture to suit their own prejudices.

The video, parodying The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony (which was inspired in turn by Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack), featured Paul Kaye, Matt Lucas, David Walliams, Edward Tudor-Pole and a young Lily Allen. When Fat Les played Vindaloo on Top of the Pops, Collin Pillinger CBE (Principal Investigator for the Beagle 2 Mars Lander Project) appeared on drums.

Listen on Youtube.

1. 1996/1998 – Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds, Three Lions


“Three Lions on a shirt, Jules Rimet still gleaming/30 years of hurt, never stopped me dreaming”

So at number one, one of the most successful football songs ever written, a nostalgic yet hopeful homage to 30 years of dashed optimism that perfectly captured the popular mood.

By 1996 Britpop had reached its peak, with the Lightning Seeds among its best loved sons, giving Three Lions broad appeal. It went straight to #1 in the top 40 and was even popular among foreign teams. Jurgen Klinsmann mentioned German fans singing the track on their way to their match against England in the semi-final (they sung it again when parading the trophy on the Romer balcony in Frankfurt).

The track’s staying power was such that when re-released in 2006, it still reached #9. Official World Cup ’98 song (How Does It Feel To Be) On Top of the World didn’t stand a chance against the combined might of Three Lions and Vindaloo and disappeared quickly after limping into the top ten.

Dutch group Hermes House Band released their own version, Eagles on the Shirt while German group Die Original Deutschmacher released a cover titled Das W auf dem Trikot (The W on the Shirt). Notts County even have their own version, Two Pies on the Shirt.

However, there was some controversy – rumours at the time suggested that as with the Sex Pistols’ God Save the Queen in 1977, Vindaloo was deliberately kept from #1 in favour of Three Lions. The video for Baddiel and Skinner’s track featured a kickabout between England supporters (including the comedy duo and Lightning Seeds singer Ian Broudie) and German fans, each of whose shirt reads Kuntz (with one Klinsmann). Though the striker had been vital in defeating England in the 1996 semi-final, the clear innuendo meant the section was cut by many broadcasters.

Still, in the words of John Motson – “As football songs go, Three Lions certainly is the best.”

Listen on Youtube.

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The Top Mixed and Mashed TV Theme Tunes Fri, 15 Jan 2010 11:10:35 +0000 Ewan image

It’s one TV show opening up another TV show!

The opening music to your favourite TV show is always enough to stir the memories, but the internet has a habit of tweaking those thoughts very slightly.

In the words of Humphrey Lyttleton, what happens when you take one tune, and graft it over another turn, or in this case a TV show…

That’s right “One TV Show To The Tune Of Another!” Here are some of the best!

10. Dallas / Star Wars

Eighties shoulder pads not on show, but plenty character defining moments – and we’ll see those a few more times as we go through the list.


9. Groundhog Day / MacGyver

Given it’s the same in every episode, this is a rather fitting reworking of a great comedy classic… and Groundhog Day.


8. Different Strokes / The Dorm That Dripped Blood

Take one creepy B-movie horror flick, and change nothing about the music. Now add this to the happy go lucky visuals from Different Strokes opening… Hitchcock would have been proud.


7. Airworlf / Darth Vader and the Empire

Here’s the one that started it off in the office, with a Twitter comment of “this is what the internet was made for!”


6. Battlestar Galactica / Star Trek Deep Space Nine

There is a common connection already in writer Ron D Moore, but this makes the dark turn that DS9 took even more apparent.


5. The A-Team / Star Trek

Cheese meets cheese in the best bit of action since the Mozarella Feast at your local pizza emporium. Gotta love a bit of the Shatner at any point in your life!


4. Magnum / Han Solo

Just sheer class, with everyone’s favourite bounty hunter, who we know fired first.

3. Battlestar Galactica / Battlestar Galactica

Okay, so one show to the tune of another show, that’s actually the same show, but with a different story to tell that everyone finally realised was the same story as the first show. Capiche?

2. The Muppet Show / Electric Six’s Gay Bar

I know the second tune isn’t a TV show, but honestly I can’t watch Henson again without this going through my head. It puts a new light on the Swedish Chef, I tell you.


1. The Flumps / Rainbow

And finally, just a bit of fun in the studio with your childhood heroes from the UK

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Top Ten Goals From The Halfway Line Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:21:48 +0000 Alex Homer Goal!!!

After Wigan’s Maynor Figueroa scores from his own half against Thomas Sorensen of Stoke, we take a look at the ten best halfway line goals.

The World speaks football. Those who watch, play and love the game understand its mass appeal: from park kickabout mediocrity to mind-boggling majesty.

To those who are opportunist enough to spot a keeper off his line, have the stones to forsake team mates to try a lob, have got the technique to get the ball on target and are pimp enough to score…thank you. You fuel pub debate and, like MPs’ expenses, you deserve all the attention.

It’s my article so, with bogus criteria, here we go?! In reverse order…

10. Paul Robinson (Tottenham) V Watford

I’m not even joking. Robinson, sometimes derided for his weight but (widely) regarded as an England prospect, defines ‘Route One’ football when he pops this one over opposite number Ben Foster.

In one of those moments where everyone else in the ground is thinking ‘watch the bounce’, Hornets’ custodian Foster does us all a favour and charges forward like a wally.

9. Nayim (Real Zaragoza) V Arsenal

Given this settled the 1995 European Cup Winners Cup final, Nayim scores highly for the cheek of his spectacular hit and hope. David ‘Safe Hands’ Seaman meanwhile reminds us all he can look a real lemon when he gets lobbed.

Seamo does not even seem to react with the mandatory swearing and post kicking you might expect from later Gunners’ keepers, say…Jens Lehmann..?

8. Xabi Alonso (Liverpool) V Newcastle

How boring is Javier Mascherano? Tenacious sure, wrestles back possession regularly but does he tackle, look right then do this? No. No he does not.

I’m no body language expert but I’m pretty sure Alonso’s glance right then deliberate swivel, before chipping luckless Geordie veteran Steve Harper, translates as: ‘No chance mate. I fancy giving this a punt.’

7. Rivaldo (Barcelona) V Atletico Madrid

This is genius, precision, but do you remember that World Cup when he grabbed his face and went down like a sack of spuds? Yeh, that’s why he is so low down. I’d have booted a ball at him too.

6. Xabi Alonso (Liverpool) V Luton

There’s no one in goal so there was no way this was making the top five but give Alonso his due, he’s got Steven Gerrard pegging it ahead on the left and he just doesn’t give him a second’s thought. Good lad.

Gerrard throws a mini hissy fit till he realises it’s going in; polite applause *double take* yes it’s going in, continue clapping. Dirk Kuyt on commentary too…what a joker!

5. Roberto Soldado (Osasuna) V Levante

Soldado shows us a full bag of tricks here. First he gives it twinkle toes to escape the affections of a defender who has obviously spilt curry sauce over his instructions: ‘Have him in your pocket’.

Forced to literally shake off his overly-frisky marker the Osasuna man pings his shot with such velocity it actually lobs the keeper and still nestles in the bottom corner.

4. Roger Garcia (Espanyol) V Rayo Vallecano

Many long-suffering partners might catch this blinder out of the corner of their eye and say: ‘What’s all the fuss about. It’s easy look, you just pop it in.’

Roger does make it look that simple. Moving at pace, watching the oncoming ball across his body and opening his foot to guide a high-speed bullet over a superhero-esque streak across the sky from the ‘oppo’ keeper. Yup, child’s play that…looks a doddle.

3. Maynor Figueroa (Wigan) V Stoke City

I know. I went mental when I saw it on Match of the Day as well but it can’t feature higher than three can it?

Apparently the ball took just 02.63 seconds to hit the net after the Honduras international leathered it, but half the Potters missed it with their backs turned. The ratio of element of surprise/opportunism: pimp is therefore quite low.

Alan Hansen blamed this on Rory Delap not putting his foot on the ball to get ready for the set piece. Imagine having Hansen round for Christmas? ‘Oh, great, ANOTHER present…’

2. David Beckham (Manchester United) V Wimbledon

Beckham is a cheeky imp at this point, no one knew him from Adam. It’s the fade on the ball, it’s the way he holds his arms to balance with his idiosyncratic strike, it’s the way he watches the ball in and holds the pose.

They’re not golden but they do shine. Anyone who saw that free kick against Greece should write Neil Sullivan a thank you card. Or ring him cos you’ve got free minutes.

Beckham – The original and best, you might have thought? Getting so close to top spot this is the bit where Jimmy Carr normally leaves you for an ad. break, how rude.

1. Dejan Stankovic (Inter Milan) V Genoa

I couldn’t do it to you.

In cricket they say hit the ball back where it’s came from, show the bowler the maker’s name. But this isn’t cricket, it’s just a banging volley from earlier this year…and he hits it off balance, first time.

That’s your lot. Disagree? Send in your suggestions via the Comments box below and we’ll take a peak.

Apologies to any fan who has seen their team concede one of the aforementioned goals. It’s not big and it’s not clever is it…

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Top Ten Christmas Songs You’ve Probably Never Heard Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:57:44 +0000 Ewan image

Who needs the chart toppers when you have the undiscovered classics to ring out!

Following on from last week’s Top Ten Christmas Songs, the debate in our office continued on around the music that had been left out. Of course we all had our personal favourites nobody had ever heard of… and bingo, another gem of a Christmas song list was born!

10. Merry Xmas Everybody, Slade Live

Still performing to this day are two original members of Slade, Dave Hill and Don Powell. Forget your modern bands like Chemical Romance, the Gods of Christmas have still got it.

9. I Don’t Want a Lot for Christmas, My Chemical Romance

Just don’t forget about the lads from New Jersey and their attempt to rescue the schmaltz of Mariah Carey’s festive 45. While the song is out there, they never sorted out an official video. Still, that’s what YouTube and your fan-base is for.

8. Christmas, by Nanowar

Not a typo, but one of Italy’s little gems – think Spinal Tap crossed with Silvio Berlusconi and you have “Nanowar of Steel”,” and their tribute not just to Christmas but the pantheon of stars that they worship.

7. I’m Walking Backwards for Christmas, The Goons

Most Christmas songs are recorded in a studio in July (or the week before The X-Factor is finished) so Spike, Harry and Peter’s seasonal disc gets an award for being recorded at Christmas. It does mean that it was released at the height of the summer of ‘56.

6. Six White Boomers, Rolf Harris

Yes Rolf – he’s quite the singer-songwriter you know (and I’m convinced that his Stairway to Heaven is a genuine masterpiece, not withstanding the original). Here’s the audio of another classic retelling – the six white boomers (kangaroos) that pull Santa’s Sleigh in Australia.

5. The Twelve Days of Christmas, Bill Barclay

If you live in Edinburgh, there’s one true sign that Christmas is here – the local radio station “Forth Two” starts playing the Christmas song of Bill Barclay – one of their DJ’s. But rather than a partridge in a pear tree, these gifts on the twelve days of presents are more Scottish… and alcoholic.

4. Song For Ten, by Tim Phillips

For many, Christmas Day is no longer about the birth of Jesus, but the beginning of a new era of Doctor Who. As Tennant sails off into the sunset this year, who could forget the Phil Spector closing of his first appearance at Christmas from 2005?

3. Faith Noel, The Trans Siberian Orchestra

Founded in 1996, the Trans Siberian Orchestra (TSO) are a mix of Prog Rock, Symphonic Metal and just a hint of classical music. Their full concert renditions of traditional festive standards are just mind blowing. No footage of this track live, but here is one of their more noted favourites, synced up to some fairy lights.

2. One More Sleep Till Christmas, The Muppets

Why, in all the appreciation of Christmas music is a Muppets song not in the collections? I’ve no idea either, so let’s sort that right now, with the Singalongtastic opener from The Muppet Christmas Carol.

1. White Wine in the Sun, by Tim Minchin

Currently making an attempt to get into the 2009 charts, the virtuoso that is Tim Minchin shines through in a song that reaches out to the heart of anyone, and manages to squeeze in “Desmond Tu Tu To” as a lyric. Absolute genius.

So, who did we miss?

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Top Ten Xmas Songs (and Bob the Builder) Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:06:55 +0000 Nigel Slater xmas_songs version

Hello to all The Daily Dust readers. I’m Nigel Slater and with Christmas just three weeks away, we are making a trip back to memory lane in our Top Ten Xmas songs of all time.

So just sit back and enjoy (or even cringe) the upcoming classic tunes that have made the British Festive season all the more memorable in the past decade or two.

10: ‘To You I Belong’ – B*Witched (1998)

A surprising one to start off with. We are going back eleven years to 1998 where Irish girl-group B*Witched were proving popular, especially with teenage girls! The Christmasy single reached Number 1 in the run up to the Xmas Chart but was pipped to the post by The Spice Girls for the Christmas number 1 record.

9: ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ – Sir Paul McCartney (1979)

We now travel back to thirty years ago for our next track in this Top Ten listing. It’s the brilliant sir Paul McCartney with the classic ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’. This tune has proved to be one of the most popular songs to be played in the festive season and is remembered for being one of McCartney’s best ever solo-songs.

8: ‘Happy Christmas (War Is Over)’ – John Lennon, Yoko Ono & Plastic Ono Band (1971)

Another former Beatle gets recognition here on The Daily Dust. The great John Lennon was the star of this fantastic and moving record, which relates to the troublesome Vietnam War. The children singing were from the Harlem Community Choir. Brilliant record, which like McCartney’s is one of the most popular festive songs of all time. It makes it to number 8 here.

7: ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ – Cliff Richard (1988)

Love him or loathe him, Christmas wouldn’t be the same without Cliff Richard releasing a song in the festive season. In 1988 though, Cliff topped the charts with the classic Mistletoe & Wine – his 12th number 1 single at the time. It spent four weeks at the top of the charts and became the biggest-selling single of the year. Way to go Cliff!!

6: ‘Step Into Christmas’ – Elton John (1973)

In at Number Six in our special Festive chart is the cheery ‘Step Into Christmas’ by a young Elton John (it was 1973 afterall). Really good tune this one – makes you want to stand up and have a dance. The record was written by Bernie Taupin but only reached up to 23 in the charts. Despite this, I still think it is a jolly good track and deserves its place here. Enjoy!

5: ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’ – Shakin’ Stevens (1985)

The brilliant Shakin’ Stevens secures a place in our top 5. ‘Merry Christmas Everone’ is another popular Festive classic, with a very catchy and cheesy tune. It’s just one of them songs that you can’t help but love. It was Christmas Number 1 back in 1985 and is remembered for Shakin’s fantastic range of jumpers! Shakin’ Stevens is at Number 5. Sorry for not finding the official music video but we do have a wonderful Top of the Pops performance from the lovely man himself.

4: ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ – Mariah Carey (1994)

Oh I wish Mariah would say that to me on a personal level!! This hugely popular Christmas love song reached Number 2 in the UK Chart losing out to East 17′s ‘Stay Another Day’ fifteen years ago. It’s a fantastic track and very popular with the girls!!! It reaches our Top four.

3: ‘Last Christmas’ – Wham (1984)

Another terrific Christmas love song, this time from British pop-group Wham. The only thing wrong about the song was that it was released in the worst year possible – if they wanted to be the Christmas Number 1 – because Bob Geldof’s Band Aid released their charity single Do they Know It’s Christmas in the same year – any other year it would have been Christmas Number 1 without a doubt. It made number 3 and is still an absolute classic.

2: ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ – Band Aid (1984)

Written by the legendary Bob Geldof, all artists from the 1980′s era were all united into one act as Band Aid to produce one of the best ever Christmas songs of all time. The charity single raised money for the relief of Famine back in 1984 – 85.

Geldof was inspired to raise money for the poor people of Ethiopia after Michael Buerk’s famous TV report of the the mind-blowing state of the small African country and wanted to create a group in a bid to help and create a special fundraising event.

It sold then a record-breaking 3.5 million copies until the release of ‘Candle of the Wind’ by Elton John broke it in 1997 by selling 5 million. It had five weeks at the top of the charts and a new version was released in 2004, which again did wonders for charity and topped the Christmas and Singles chart.

1: ‘Fairytale of New York’ – The Pogues. Featuring Kirsty MacColl (1987)

This classic Irish folk-style ballad was released in 1987 and reached Number 2 in the British charts and top spot in the Irish Charts. It is a great tune and is considered not only one of the greatest Christmas songs of all time, but one of the greatest songs full stop. It’s made the Christmas Top 40 every year since 2005, it’s charted on seven separate occasions, and has went into the Top Ten three years running.

It’s perfect.

Thank you for reading The Daily Dust’s Top 10 Xmas. Do you agree with it? Or do you feel other songs should have got in there? What are your favourite Xmas songs? Please send us your comments

(Oh go on then…)

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The Top Ten Sexiest Male Accents Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:34:41 +0000 Simon Tingle

Which country comes top of the class for sexiness?

I was always told that a person’s personality is what counts. These latest findings seem to disagree. A recent survey asked 5,000 women worldwide what they thought was the world’s sexiest accent.

10. American.

Naturally at the top of the list, but we’re in reverse order. No wonder they import all their villans from abroad in Hollywood!


9. Welsh.

Welsh? I guess anyone that can pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyll must have a good tongue.


8. Spanish.

Ah that’s more like it. The Spanish diction strolls happily in at number eight.


7. Swedish.

Famous swedes… err… umm… Alfred Nobel?


6. English.

It says English as number six, and I have to ask if they mean the Hugh Grant English or the Noddy Holder english?


5. Australian.

Perhaps the dulcet tones of Clive James or Rolf Harris will make you weak at the knees for a trip down under? Australia makes it into the Top 5.


4. French.

Former favourite, France, had to settle for fourth in the survey. "The French accent is nowhere near as popular as it used to be. You can probably blame Nicolas Sarkozy  for that, he has single-handedly changed the perception of how the world sees French men.”


3. Scottish.

Sean Connery or Billy Connolly? Topping the audl enemy in third it’s the Scottish accent.


2. Italian.

Second place went to the lyrical tones of the Italian accent – perhaps it’s Flavio Briatore that does it for you?



1. Irish.

It seems that women swoon when they hear the accent of film stars such as Colin Farrell, with the Irish accent coming top of the poll

Colin Farrell

The survey also found that 60% of women admitted to being seduced by a man simply because of his accent. While 40% said they would much rather sleep with a man with a nice accent, compared to a harsh one.

I don’t know about you, but I’m off to perfect my Irish brogue.

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The Top Ten Sexy Calendar Girls Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:55:03 +0000 Admin1 calendar_girls

With the new cast shortly arriving at the London Stage show, we thought we’d put together our list of favorites from both the film and stage

10. June Brown.  Stage Show.  Brown, 82, is more famous for playing Dot Cotton (now Branning) in EastEnders since 1985.  The oldest of those in the show so far.


9. Julie Goodyear. Stage Show.  Julie, 67, wobbled on the cobbles as Bet Lynch on Corrie for over 25 years before departing in 1995.


8. Lynda Bellingham. Stage.  Bellingham, 61, famously played the Mum during the 80′s and 90′s in OXO adverts.


7. Janie Dee. Stage.  Dee, 43, is an award winning actress, including many Shakespeare roles.


6. Gaynor Faye. Stage. Faye, 38, played Judy Mallet in Coronation Street and various TV dramas since.


5. Jerry Hall. Stage.  Hall, 53, was married to Mick Jagger and has four children with him.


4. Jill Halfpenny. Stage. Halfpenny, 34, famous from her role in Eastenders and Strictly Come Dancing


3. Gemma Atkinson.  Stage. Atkinson, 24, is best known for glamour modeling.


2. Kelly Brook. Stage.  Brook, 29, is famous for being a TV presenter, actress and a model.


1. Helen Mirren. Film. Mirren, 64, famous actress having won an Oscar, Bafta’s and starred in many box office hits.


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Top 10 Sci-Fi Insults Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:24:19 +0000 Simon Tingle Insults Raw

A list of some of the best insults from a galaxy far, far away.

Everyone enjoys a good put-down or insult, unless you’re unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of course.

Sci-fi programmes such as Red Dwarf, Doctor Who and Blake’s Seven have given us plenty of material over the years.

Here is the Daily Dust’s Top 10 insults from the Sci-fi world:

10. “You were right. That must be a novel experience for you.” Avon, Blake’s Seven.

9. “Anything I can do to help?” “Short of dying, no, I can’t think of a thing.” Morden and Vir, Babylon 5.

8. “I’m older and wiser.” “Yeah well, you’re half right.” Earl and Valentine, Tremors.

7. “He’s not as stupid as he looks.” “My dear, nobody could be as stupid as he looks.” The Countess and Count Scarlioni, Doctor Who.

6. “He’s like a turd that won’t flush.” Deacon, Waterworld.

5. “Hey, Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?” “No, have you?” Vasquez and Hudson, Aliens.

4. “Friendship? Do you know how many people I’ve met in my life I could count on as friends? True friends?” “Well, if you count Inflatable Ingrid, your polythene pal, one.” Rimmer and Lister, Red Dwarf.

3. “Where’s the fire?” “That would be in my pants.” “That’s probably syphilis.” Rube, Mason and Daisy, Dead Like Me.

2. “You’re a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.” Cordelia, Angel.

1. “You’re about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.” Rimmer, Red Dwarf.

To see the full list of insults visit sci-fi and fantasy website

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Top 10 Richest Men In British Football Fri, 09 Oct 2009 21:15:33 +0000 Simon Tingle Money Raw

And the winner isn’t even with a Premiership side. has released their annual rich list highlighting the who’s who of British football owners.

Chelsea’s rich Russian,  Roman Abramovich, came third in the list with an estimated fortune of £7.8bn, leaving the Chelsea owner £800m better off than this time last year.

Last year’s winner, Manchester City’s Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al Nahyan, had to settle for second place in this year’s list with a paltry £17bn to his (ridiculously long) name.

Coming out on top was Lakshmi Mittal, who made his £18.4bn fortune from the steel industry and has a 20% share in Championship club QPR.

Mittal came in second place last year but has seen his wealth increase from £12.5bn to £18.4bn in just 12 months thanks to a resurgence in his share’s value after last year’s slump.

With fellow QPR owner, Bernie Ecclestone, coming eighth in the list with a £1.44bn fortune, the future looks bright for any forthcoming Rangers signings.

We’re just waiting for Robinho to hand in a transfer request and declare that “Queen Rangers Park is the biggest club in the world and I’m happy to be here.”

The Top 10 richest men in British football were:

1. Lakshmi Mittal (QPR) – £18.4bn

2. Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al Nahyan (Man City) – £17bn

3. Roman Abramovich (Chelsea) – £7.8bn

4. Joe Lewis (Tottenham) – £2.5bn

5. Stan Kroenke (Arsenal) – £2.079bn

6. Denis O’Brien (Celtic) – £1.73bn

7. Malcolm Glazer and family (Man Utd) – £1.5bn

8. Bernie Ecclestone (QPR) – £1.466bn

9. Alisher Usmanov (Arsenal) – £1.3bn

10. Lord Grantchester and family (Everton) £1.2bn

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Hey Jude, What Would Ringo Say? Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:53:17 +0000 Ewan Babs and Ringo

It’s the anniversary of the release of the world record beating Hey Jude, and we ask what did Ringo do?

Released 41 years ago, Hey Jude is probably one of the greatest songs of all time, and it’s always great to hear it again. What I never knew before was that it held the world record for the most number of “nahs” in a song – some of them were even written by Ringo Starr!

Not withstanding the fact that Ringo Starr “wasn’t even the best drummer in The Beatles” his style has been an inspiration for many drummers around the world and he’s incredibly underrated. Phil Collins says so. But we wondered, in jest this morning, what Ringo’s rejected Beatles song titles would have been?

Hey Mr Tambourine Man On Love Me Do
Ringo famously wasn’t on the drums for this song, but did grab aforesaid instrument.

All You Need Is Love (of a Bond girl)
That would be Mrs Richard Starkey, or Barbara Bach from The Spy Who Loved Me.

The Ballad of Thomas and The Fat Controller
An early narration for Rev W. Awdry

Let It Be Stig
The Rutles drummer, a spoof on Ringo, was called Stig.

Ringo and Son
Zak Starkey, his son, was kinda a member of Oasis as their drummer.

It’s Okay, Yoko’s Gone, You Can Come Down From The Ceiling.
How could we forget Bill Hick’s Ringo speech which this is from?

But here’s a little bit of Hey Jude to finish off. And you know how the drums start quite late into the song? That’s because Ringo had nipped to the loo as the recording started and nobody noticed… yet he made it back in time, slid into place, and never missed a beat.

Ringo Starr… the star’s star.

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